Thursday, July 10, 2008

Nervous Nellie

My grandmother used to call me that when I was little. I always have been nervous. Kind of funny (peculiar) when you consider that this central nervous disorder endlessly sends my nerves flaring. This week has been hard. I have a severely swollen lymph node just in front of my left ear. I saw the resident subbing for my primary care on Monday. Nothing obvious seemed wrong, so today I am having a needle aspiration and biopsy. Joy.

Meanwhile, I've been having muscle spasms in my jaw and head--muscles Ive never thought about, but ouch. Plus my legs are bad. Lots of little muscle spasms--feet, arms, calves--all kind of separate, but still enough to stumble or awaken. My primary care told me last week that Abilify, the medication I am taking for supposed bi-polar, has a host of effects on the CNS. Her discharge note said to discuss with my psychiatrist if there was change in fatigue or legs. Did I mention fatigue, or my legs? My body feels like it belongs to someone else. I have to stop this. No, I can do it.

Of course, the psychiatrist changed this month. I see the new one next week. Should I start by demanding to get off this medication? No, I have to share my concerns. "How do you do? I don't think I need all these meds?"

Tomorrow, I am scheduled for an MRI. I canceled PT today. I should ride my bike. That so great to do in front of the housekeeper...

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