Your milage may very

I have not abandoned this blog. At least not permanently. I did hit a slough of despond there for a while. All I wanted to do was sleep or read. I felt like I didn't have anything to say to anyone, in conversation or in writing...

I've stayed on the antidepressant, even though it seems to have made things worse rather than better. Hubba Hubba told me 12/26, when he increased the dosage to 30 mgs that I should feel better in about 10 days. I didn't. But I persevered. For my birthday, Matt gave me a stationary bicycle. Then we looked at the set up instructions. They were way past our level. So, on New Year's Eve Day, we had our friend Joe come over and he and Matt put it together. Yeah! I can now bike to nowhere in the comfort of my own bedroom.

I started riding 5 minutes a day, and have increased to 11 at this point. Doesn't seem like much, but I think if I can get it up to 20 min. a day, it should make a difference at least in my cardio health. Plus, when I went to the primary care on Tues., my blood pressure was 125/84. Golden numbers for me.

The visit with the primary care was just routine follow up. However, I have had a new wrinkle crop up. I have three dime-sized lumps on my scalp. I thought they were a zit at first, or a new mole. But they didn't pop. They did itch, and I had great difficulty not scratching. And they had begun to hurt. So it was time someone looked at them. Madam Milktoast said they were an infection, and prescribed an antibiotic and a steroid liquid topical thing, Fluocinonide. Another lecture on the dangers of skin infections. I had to ask, since this is the third one in less than a year, is it due to the Copaxone. I should discuss that with my neurologist. I should call this number in 5 days for a dermatology consult. The word biopsy was uttered. I immediately flashed on the skin biopsies I had 2 years ago that didn't heal properly. I think the under bra side one never will at this point, but it is mostly a souvenir.

OK, fill prescriptions, etc. In 3 days, the lumps no longer hurt, but they haven't gotten much smaller. Oh well. Then yesterday, I get a call from Shiela, Milktoast's nurse. They got back my labs. My TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was a 0.06 on Tues. Normal range is .5-5.5? I am seriously low. Gee, maybe that's why I've been so tired and down! Hyperthyroidism. I'm sad to say, no weight loss. Change dosage of thyroid hormone and dance.

I am wondering why, if I went eight years, 1997-2005 without a change in my thyroid levels, why is this the third change in 1.5 years? Once again, is it the disease or the treatment?

The best there never was

Jesus Louis. I am out of my mind sometimes! (Enough with the exclamation points,) even if they do add to my girlish charms. The Offspring thinks I chat like a twelve year old. She doesn't understand what an accomplishment that is for someone just shy of half a century! Eek. That one just escaped. In any case, I came up with several interesting and/or funny things to say this morning. But I need to change blogs first. Just give me a minute. You may talk among your selves.

First: song lyrics are just song lyrics. Some song lyrics have deep meaning. Others not so deep; they are just lyrics. Kind of like great poetry vs. good poetry vs. doggerel. (Pause to reassure Spot he isn't doggerel.) (Another pause for a cleansing breath.)

Second: Saying I am not the Annoyed Librarian doesn't mean I am not depressed. I am depressed. Enough with the happy chatter.

Third: If you want to feel good about yourself, check out the online support groups>

not really relevant

OK, crunching along here. Doing ok, in the walking and talking categories, but not great. We went to a plumeria show yesterday. Much walking around in circles, before deciding to purchase a plant. The plant doesn't look like much right now, but I have high hopes for fragrant frangipani.

Tuesday I go to for the GI consult. Oh goodie, another MD to break in. I was thinking about my mystery stomach complaint last week. I realized that the major problem began the first week in June. And I fell and fractured a rib the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, i.e., May 27th. The bruising in my mid-section was pretty severe. There was pain, but it didn't bother me that much except for when I breathed.

The daily really severe diarrhea started around June 1. It was godawful. I lived on Gatorade, bananas, and rice. Just before we left for ALA and DC, on June 20, I caught a nasty stomach virus. It was dreadful, lasted around 4 days. I know it was a virus, because some of my staff had it first, then I gave it to The Boyfriend and my 83-year old mother. But everyone else had it about 24 hours, and then was fine. I apparently had it twice? Because 4 days after I recovered, I had to go on Immodium again. Did my body just start thinking daily diarrhea was normal?

It finally started to resolve August first. Solid bowel movements, yeah! I know it isn't healthy or "nice" to think or talk about such. But I need to document. I worry that all of this sounds like a mad woman, and that I don't really need a GI consult. But then, last Wednesday, September 5, I got to spend another morning of quality time in the bathroom. And another http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif1/2 hour of sick leave due to the inability to leave the toilet. Ick. I think I will never again complain of constipation (my old faithful). But I don't want to start any gods laughing.

The post title is referring to the two internal medicine M.D.s I saw in June. I am still peeved that they did nothing to help me. I still can't decide which one was worse. I'd say #1 because she didn't even examine my ribs, but #2 wasn't even concerned when the Xray she ordered showed a fracture. Didn't say anything about the trauma causing other problems. It was only because the pulmonologist said that it may have caused pleurisy, that it even ocurred to me to wonder if it damaged anything else.

Meanwhile, the tender spot (not Spot) on my abdomen that has hurt since December still hurts. It's another thing that doesn't bother me that much, but I've had the "don't ignore pain" lecture sooo many times. So I am not ignoring it.

I figure a GI consult has to mean more tests that my poor upset stomach will not enjoy! I read and hear about "Overtreated". The Boyfriend makes noises about medicalizing everything. But I feel like MS kind of sentences me to being hypervigilant. I have to keep watching every single thing, because I don't know where the next attack will come from. And my health history is just filled with weird things turning into disasters. Unlikely or not.

Some day I will do a crabby post on all the ways I test myself daily. I literally ask my body every morning, "How's it going?" BTW, I was able to stand on one foot for a count of 20 yesterday. That's very good. Maybe I'll again be able to put on underwear standing up. That would be a huge victory. Though it couldn't touch typing with four or more fingers. That's a dream.